Mess

Do you ever have those periods in your life where everything feels like one great big mess? That is currently how I am feeling! I am trying my hardest to discern where God want me in my future ministry, and as such am pushing on as many doors as possible in the hope that the wrong ones will close for me pretty quickly. The problem is each door is providing oportunities and avenues that suck me in deeper. THis is resulting in me trying to juggle: Mision shaped and Pioneer ministry, Local preaching, Local Church leadership, Local Church Musician and worhsip leading, toe dipping into presbitual ministry / Diaconal Ministry and EDEV. Managing all of these things plus my primary and most important roles of husband and father along with a full time, demanding job are leaving everyhting feeling like a bit of a mess. A quagmire of different things that merge in and out of focus with sometimes blurring boundries - and at the moment I feel like it is pulling me down.

That and the real sense that I am failing my wife and kids with my neglect of their needs are causing me to seriously consider throwing the towel in on everything!

I hope that some of this starts to make some sense soon else it will either drag me under or I will end up pushing it all away!